My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
