I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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