i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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