For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
