I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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