Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
