I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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