just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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