Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
that's an acceptable place to lick
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
