Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Let's paint friendship bongs
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
