like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
