let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
