Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
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