No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
