My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
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