I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
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After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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