i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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