p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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