Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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