Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
