After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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