The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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