i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
