I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
