i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
God I need to hump something, right now.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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