Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
