I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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