I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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