yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
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I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
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She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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