You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
