are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
