put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize