I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
