I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
