we're blogging at a bar
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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