That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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