lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Randomize
