shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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