So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I look better un-naked...
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
