how can u be prego again
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
