I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You've changed since you got that strap on
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
