new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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