I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
