my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize