Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
