Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
