I want to walk on stilts...naked
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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