God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
This baby is an asshole
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
