I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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