dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
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Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
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I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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