Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize