but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
