This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize