This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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