I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
