I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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