he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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