when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Randomize