You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
