My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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