I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
