I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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