You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
