So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
